18 September 2006

Paper Psyche

Anvil Boy is back thanks to popular demand! (Well, someone mumbled something about liking the series, and that counts, right?) So please welcome Anvil Boy!

“Hello and thanks. It’s always nice to come here because of the free biscuits.”

Hello Anvil Boy, or “Mark” as you so insistently call yourself, although I have no idea why...

“It’s my name.”

Yeah. Anyway, so what have you been up to lately?

“That’s the vagueness we’ve come to expect isn’t it, folks. You’d think the quality of the interviews would improve over time but—”

Hey, I do my best!

“Well it’s clearly not good enough; I’m going to have to rewrite you. Where’d I put that piece of paper?”

What? Wait, stop; you can’t rewrite me! Ever since I found out I was imaginary I’ve felt more real than ever! I’m a real person! A real imaginary person, I mean...

“Found it! Pen, pen, pen...”

Give me that character profile; it’s mine!

“No, it’s mine. I wrote it.”

No! Grr hnuergh... Give it back...

“You won’t get it! I can just write you to be weaker and slower than me.”

Oh yeah? *Lunges.*

“N—” *Ripppp* “...Oh crap. Medic!

YAAaaaAargh! My mind! Oh, my beautiful mind! My... my... *flump*

“Hurry up, and get here doc! Meanwhile, it’s just me at the mic, so I can...”

...take off these itchy quote marks. Phew.

“You called?”

Oh, and look who has the quotes now.

“What? Whoa... 10cm adhesive tape, stat!”

*Snip* Here, doc.

*Applies tape and sighs* “Mark, you could have done that yourself.”

I don’t know first aid.

“What happened, anyway?”

Well, he sort-of lunged at me and ripped half of his script character profile out of my hands...

“Holy scripture Mark-man!”

Please don’t say that.

“Anyway, I’m taking this surprise sidekick of Sydney Sodno (the singer-songwriter from Stanwell-Upon-Sea) to the nearest Strange-Sickness-Solving-Surgery Unit. I’m afraid this interview is a write-off.”

Dammit, doc. Yet another piece of my writing written off...

Comments: 4

Anonymous Anonymous Said...  
How can you be rerritten without being re-errazed first?
Oh second, Eye C!
But if you have civil war with yourself you may self-destruct, then Eye can have your new computer, He, He, He!
Blogger Blinky The Potato Girl Said...  
Beware of tearing up your own soul. It's bad for your shoes.
Anonymous Anonymous Said...  
What did the council worker say to the road markings?
"Sorry but I have to re-white you."
Anonymous Anonymous Said...  
I have never before in my entire lifetime come accross such shear and unadulterated genius.
However, it remains a fundamental rule of life that if you tear up the road it may also be bad for your shoes, if you are still wearing them!

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