Tiny Tickle UnRadio

Welcome to our super special Spurious Spellings Special service.

Sir Sparkle II wishes to know why Choir isn't spelt Chior or even Quire. Meanwhile, his friend, Mr Marcus Megalomaniacus, thinks that Awkward should be spelt Orquod. If you can help them with their spurious spellings, please don't hesitate to write us a message.

And, on a less spellingy but equally spurious note, when are SouthWest Trains going to get their act together? A Broadcasting Basement employee was riding the train to work recently, when the train clanked and crunched over its usual river bridge. This bridge is many miles from the coast. Despite this, at the very instant the train was over the water, the computerised announcer blurted out, "Change here for ferries to Isle of Wight." Duly concerned, our correspondent peered out of the windows but failed to spot anyone taking the advice and diving off the moving train.

Well, that's all for now. Thanks for listen-- This news just in: Ellen DeGeneres has been quoted as saying, "My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-three today and we don't know where the hell she is." If you know here Ellen DeGeneres' grandmother is, please contact her. That's all for now.