02 September 2005

The Story Of Anvil Boy

Well, it seems some of you have been wondering what I've been doing in here all this time. The answer is, writing a story -- forging it by hammering it against my anvil. It goes like this:

Once upon a time, there was a little boy who liked anvils. One day he applied to take the BSc Study of Anvils course at the University of Anvilania. The University told him he would need to study hard at college to get a place, and he did. He worked hard on his Anvil Studies AS course but was shocked when he failed. He became sad and cried big salty tears onto his anvil, which started to rust. Then he had a good idea: He would take the Anvil exams again! This he did, and achieved enough marks to get a C grade, which made him happy. The C grade would be just enough to squeeze him into the Study of Anvils course he wanted. All he had to do was show the University the magical blue grade when he received the it. But when the carrier pigeon arrived, it brought bad news. The evil warlock Edward Excel had stolen his C grade and replaced it with an X, the Grade of the Damned. The University would not admit the little boy with his X. They said, "Begone! Do not darken the door of the Admissions Office until you have found this grade which you claim to be yours!" Once again, the little boy cried onto his rusty anvil. Oh, what could he do? His poor anvil rusted so much it fused to his other anvil, to which it stood next. Luckily, the little boy's teacher, Henry Strode, heard him crying and asked, "'Ello 'ello 'ello? What's all this then?" The little boy tearfully explained what naughty Edward had done to him, sobbing all the while. When he finished telling Henry, Henry was angry. "How dare Edward do such things? Do not fear, little boy, I will tell him off," he said. And with those words, the teacher thrust his magic wand into an electric wand sharpener and wrote letter after letter to Edward. But Edward did not write back. Suspecting something amiss, Henry picked up his cloak from the dry-cleaners and went to see him. When he got there, Henry saw the reason why Edward had not responded: he had been buried up to his neck in letters! The warlock could not even move his hands to cast a curse upon them all, and could only beg to be freed. Henry agreed to dig him out, but only on condition that the little boy got the C grade he so deserved. And it was so. And they all lived happily ever after -- even Edward Excel, who gave up his old ways and took up professional croquet, which is marginally less evil.

Paragraphs? What are paragraphs?

Comments: 10

Blogger Blinky The Potato Girl Said...  
Wow. That's the best story I ever read.

Unfortunately, I do believe Edward Excel has still failed to send off all his official paperwork. Either that or the college are still insisting on sending stuff to my old address, despite my having informed them of my new one.

Lucie
Blogger Blinky The Potato Girl Said...  
Ah, Edward has now done as he is told. Well done Edward.

More anvils... need more anvils...

Lucie
Blogger Jingle Bella Said...  
Woo for Edward. Has there been a definite result for the maths, Mark?
Blogger Jingle Bella Said...  
Hee hee ... maths mark ...

Sorry, sad, I know. But I only spotted that after I'd posted the comment ...
Blogger Blinky The Potato Girl Said...  
Hee hee, I'm with the sad giggling people. Maths Mark is entertaining. I'm just going to be entertained by you name now, Mark. Just 'cause I can. Hee hee.

At least you're not sneaky and making new blogs without telling people... POW!

Lucie
Blogger Pop! Said...  
How can you be so sure I'm not creating new blogs without telling you?
Blogger Blinky The Potato Girl Said...  
Well, there aren't anymore on your profile... and that's what the other sneakies were doing. Putting them there and then not telling unsuspecting people who use the URLs.

Lucie
Blogger Jingle Bella Said...  
To be fair, the sneaky blogs weren't really used. We would've said if they were.
Blogger Blinky The Potato Girl Said...  
I know, but it's still sneaky. It's a sneaky world.

Mark, you never update anymore... You're as bad as Sparkle.

Lucie
Blogger Blinky The Potato Girl Said...  
UPDATE NOW!!!!

If peer pressure worked on Sparkle, it'll work on you too!

Eventually!

Lucie

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