Tiny Tickle UnRadio

Listeners are advised to note that rubber ducks, as used in bath tubs worldwide, are now mandatory in certain parts of Egypt and England. Ducks must be made from high quality duck molecules. Random inspections will result in the prosecution of any bather not found to be in possession of a suitably rubbery and ducky object.

We have received queries regarding the acquisition of artistic licenses. The correct address to send applications to is Eric, 29 Acacia Road. Yes, it's a short address, but your letter is guaranteed* to get there if it contains an ice cube.

*Despite our use of the word "guaranteed", we cannot be held responsible for any letters that fail to reach their destination when the UnIverse ceases to exist, which will be in about 16 seconds. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible...

...And now, the weather forecast.