Tiny Tickle UnRadio

A wise... thing... once remarked, "Ah, anvils at dawn. What could be finer?" This programme is dedicated to anvils -- it's a celebration of all that is anvilly. It begins with a short poem entitled WHY ANVILS R GREAT, written and performed by Sydney Sodno, the singer-songwriter from Stanwell Upon Sea:

Anvils are wondrous entities, often overlooked,
Yet if you drop one on a friend, you'll quickly find you're hooked.
Drop an anvil, drop another, on your father, on your mother,
Drop one whenever, wibbly bleather, who needs sanity?!

Who indeed. Thank you Sydney. So please tell us: What inspired you to write this poem?

Anvils.

Erm... Please elaborate.

They're great.

Do go on.

Well, I first became interested in anvils about four years before I was born. However, it wasn't until I was twelve that my father gave in to pester power and bought me one for my birthday. Oh, I'll never forget that day... I was both amazed and annoyed that he'd managed to keep me waiting so long, since I'm so skilled at pestering people into doing what I want... Heck, if truth be told, I was beginning to doubt he'd ever give me one.

Oh dear...

But nonetheless, the very instant I was given the present, I was sure it was an anvil. Even before I'd unwrapped it!

Intriguing. How could you tell?

Well, I couldn't pick it up, could I?

Ah, of course! So tell me about this pester power. I didn't realise there was a knack to it.

Well, there is. It takes practice, but I've managed to hone it down to a fine art. If you get me a chocolate anvil, I'll tell you more.

Chocolate anvils?

Yes... A nice big white one... From the cafeteria.

Oh, one of those, right. Err... No, look... You can have a bit later, but right now we need to get on with this anvil-interview, OK?

Oh, but I want one now! Get me one! Now! Now!

Alright, alright... Keep your hair on. I'll lug one up all 14 flights of stairs just for you. Don't touch anything while I'm gone, though.

...

Well, now that he's gone I can stop speaking in those irritating italics all the time. Yes, I, Sydney Sodno, the singer-songwriter from Stanwell Upon Sea, am proudly nicking Tiny Tickle UnRadio, live on air. The old "schedule" is going out the window -- there it goes. This sound-proofed door is locked and bolted; I have a sack full of sandwiches and a gadget for tapping rainwater out of the gutter pipes -- Don't expect any of the old programmes for a while!

One last thing: AAAAAAHaAhaahahahahaaahaaaahaaahaaaaaaaaa!!!!